Eleanor (Ellie) McCutchen

Eleanor (Ellie) McCutchen participated in the 2023 CLS Chinese Program hosted by Tamkang University in New Taipei City, Taiwan 2023. Ellie is a recent graduate from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, where she majored in Political Science, Economics, and Sociology and minored in Chinese. Ellie plans to pursue a graduate degree related to political economy and sociology. She expects her Chinese skills to be very useful as she pursues the next steps in her career.

Getting to Know Ellie 

I grew up in Clemmons, North Carolina but I was adopted from China at the age of one. A lot of my childhood friends were also adopted internationally so I had an understanding community growing up; however, I have always wanted to connect more with the Chinese part of myself. My identity as a Chinese adoptee sparked my interest in studying Mandarin Chinese. I started taking Chinese classes in college which led me to the CLS Program and studying abroad in Taiwan. In college, I serve as a campus tour guide, a member of the Charlotte Mock Trial Team, and as the Vice President of the Chinese Undergraduate Student Association. I am also involved in political science research and work in the costume shop at school to create garments for theater and dance productions. I enjoy listening to music, hanging out with friends, learning new things, and thrifting. It was amazing to be able to pursue my interests while studying Chinese in Taiwan. Although I still have a long way to go, I can say that studying Chinese has helped me understand who I am and who I want to become. 

Why Chinese? 

Growing up as a Chinese adoptee, I was oblivious to the imminent identity crisis that would materialize from being ethnically Asian yet raised culturally white. I found myself in a discombobulating gray area in which I identified as an Asian American, but I could never fully connect to either Asian or American. In my senior year of high school, I recognized that to fully understand who I am, I would have to dive into uncharted facets of myself. This epiphany sparked my desire to learn Chinese and immerse myself in Chinese culture. I hoped by doing so, I would uncover a part of myself that had been largely unexplored. Therefore, choosing Chinese as my CLS target language was an easy decision. Although I learned a lot about myself during my time in Taiwan, I am still growing into my Chinese name, 赵满 (ZhàoMǎn) and improving my Chinese language skills. 

A Favorite Phrase in Chinese 

My favorite phrase in Chinese is 没关系（ méiguānxì）which means “it doesn’t matter.” I made a lot of mistakes when speaking Chinese in Taiwan and still do today. However, my Chinese teachers and friends have always responded with 没关系 which encourages me to keep trying. It is also a very useful phrase for an indecisive individual like myself. 

Why Should Others Learn Chinese? 

Not only is Mandarin one of the most spoken languages around the world, but it will also grow increasingly more useful as the United States continues to develop its relationship with China and other Mandarin-speaking nations. It’s also a fun language to learn. I enjoy how intuitive words become once you start expanding your vocabulary. For example, 热 (rè) means hot and 狗 (gǒu) means dog and when you put them together, they become the word for hot dog, 热狗. There is also a very supportive community of Chinese language learners who will encourage you every step of the way. You should definitely consider learning Mandarin!

Host Family and Finding New Meaning

An experience I had on my CLS Program in Taiwan that meant something to me was my host dad, Jack, explaining my Chinese name to me. My Chinese name is 赵满 (ZhàoMǎn) and like many Chinese adoptees, my name comes from the orphanage I lived in. The 赵 comes from the director of the orphanage as all the children took on her last name. The 满 was selected for me and simply means “full” in English. I often struggled with the meaning of my name when I compared it to the eloquent meanings of my friends’ names. However, my host dad took the time to help me understand the true meaning of my name. He introduced me to words like 满足 (mǎnzú) which means “satisfied” and 美满 (měimǎn) which means beautiful. Therefore, I can be full of beauty, life, satisfaction, etc. After that, my host family made sure to point out the characters of my name around Taiwan whenever we would go out. At the end of the program, Jack wrote me a lovely letter incorporating my name throughout. That letter and the moments spent with my host family are things that I will carry with me forever. 

New Community in a Vibrant City

The CLS Program offers the unique and impactful experience of immersing oneself in a different culture. I would be lying if I said that I was not nervous at first to be a part of the community of New Taipei City, Taiwan but they embraced me with open arms. They taught me about everyday life in Taiwan, the values of collectivism, and the world from their perspective. Some of my favorite moments included doing mundane things with my host family such as washing laundry, going grocery shopping, and eating meals together. I brought these experiences and lessons back with me to the United States and have since used them to encourage other people to go abroad. Most people just need a little reassurance to take that leap to go abroad and that is one of the reasons I am excited to be a CLS Alumni Ambassador this year! 

Growth

If you had told me a year ago that I would soon navigate the streets of New Taipei City, Taiwan speaking only Mandarin Chinese, I would not have believed you. I knew that to achieve my goals of understanding my Chinese heritage as a Chinese adoptee and strengthening my Chinese conversational skills, an immersive program such as the CLS Program would be difficult but essential. That proved to be true as the CLS program challenged me daily. It was there in the classrooms of Tamkang University, in the living room of my host family’s apartment, and at the cultural landmarks of Taipei, that I began to grow into my Chinese name, 赵满 (ZhàoMǎn), and find confidence in my Chinese language skills. I would not have been able to create a life for myself in Taiwan full of new foods, unexpected adventures, and a supportive community while reverting to English when times got tough. As I look back now, I treasure the broken conversations I had with my language partner and the times I stumbled during a class presentation but kept going. Those were the moments in which I genuinely grew. 

Words of Advice

I cannot promise that every day on the CLS Program will be a breeze, but I can promise that the immersive environment will be worth it in the long run.